


tommy doesn’t like tommy

by redisnotonline



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: AUTHOR CANT STOP SNEEZING PLEASE STOP, Angst, Family Dynamic, Hurt/No Comfort, Sbi is canon, Self-Hatred, author cant stop projecting into a 16 year old, tommy is not okay, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28963305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redisnotonline/pseuds/redisnotonline
Summary: tommy watson is lost
Relationships: none that’s gross
Kudos: 79





	tommy doesn’t like tommy

**Author's Note:**

> once again i havent reread or edited this bad boy so have fun

Tommy doesn’t like Tommy. 

He didn’t like how different he was, how much effort it took to be him, how much energy it took to exist as himself. He didn’t like how he was always cold and aching; no matter how many blankets, hoodies, sweaters, nothing could make him warm. 

He hated how neither Techno or Wilbur went to therapy at age 10. How when Wilbur decided he didn’t want to hang out with him anymore and how that made Tommy clingy and terrified of other people leaving him. It terrified him when Techno would tap on his shoulder to ask him something, his voice too deep, too monotone, too hard to read what he was feeling. When Phil would talk to him about the emails his teachers would send to him, all of the missed requirements and all the talks about how he had to be responsible now that he’s growing up. He hated how he could only see his therapist once a month. 

Tommy used to be so much kinder, empathetic and cared when he shouldn’t have had. He hated how rude and reckless he’s become. It pissed him off how his best friend struggled with social anxiety with him not knowing how to help. All he wanted was for him to be comfortable around him, was he too much or too little? People say they balance each other out but the indecipherable silence Tommy couldn’t for the life of him figure out always racked his brain. When one of his friends in his circle was so obviously struggling with themselves Tommy hated how he couldn’t care any less. When Tommy was the only one in his circle confident or strong enough to speak up, he hated himself for not saying a single word. He was a coward. 

Tommy hates being a creative. No matter how hard he tried, how many tutoring sessions, hours head first into books, hard lessons he hoped he’s learned from, he never did. He hated how effortlessly he could write a story or draw up a storyboard for school projects in a matter of minutes but couldn’t read a paragraph of To Kill A Mockingbird without rereading it and it never going into his brain. He’s not an idiot he knows this he knows this. He was just pushed into a system that was never going to work for him no matter what he did. He hated how he didn’t believe himself. He isn’t gonna make it one day into adulthood, is he?

Tommy didn’t miss his past, hated his present and didn’t want his future. What the fuck is he supposed to do?

But who knows? Maybe Phil won’t notice the piles and piles of missed assignments. Maybe Wilbur won’t notice how much disappearing effected him. Maybe Techno’s okay with him shouting in his room when he’s trying to sleep. Maybe Tommy’s okay with staying too long in the scolding hot water of his shower.

**Author's Note:**

> hint: tommy is not okay with staying under the scolding hot water of his shower but it keeps him warm so who is he to complain


End file.
